Ready to Rumble

Joe Pantoliano,Rose McGowan,David Arquette,John Cena

Sewage workers Gordie Boggs (David Arquette) and Sean Dawkins (Scott Caan) are huge professional wrestling fans. They seem to know a lot about it and its history except for the fact that it's purely entertainment and that it's scripted. Their favorite wrestler is World Championship Wrestling (WCW)'s World Heavyweight Champion Jimmy King (Oliver Platt) who personifies a modern king character on TV. Unbeknownst to them, King is actually a low life wrestler who burned out his fortune and didn't show a much respect for his boss, his family, or his co-workers.WCW owner and promoter Titus Sinclair (Joe Pantoliano), fed-up with King's attitude and behaviors, puts up a plan to screw King out of his title and destroy him. To do so, he hires WCW wrestler Diamond Dallas Page (DDP) (Himself) and his crew. He books a match between King and DDP and keeps everyone backstage thinking that King is gonna win.So Sean and Gordie go to the WCW Monday Nitro show as fans, believing they're about to witness another King victory. What ensues is their favorite wrestler getting beat up for real in the ring, loosing his championship belt and getting publicly fired from WCW for life. After the match, on their way home, the two wrestling fans express their disappointment and rage in their septic truck which leads to a car crash.However, Gordie believes that the car crash was fate and that they should help make Jimmy King World Champion again. Sean agrees to help Gordie, and the dimwitted duo embarks on a journey to put their King back on his throne.The next day, they meet Isaac (Chris Owen), a nerdy wrestling fan who's father seems to think everything Issac does is for pussies. They asks their new friend to use his internet knowledge to find out where the washed-up wrestler lives. Isaac succeeds to find King's address, and the boys go to an unexpected-looking neighborhood. They find King's estranged wife Eugenia (Caroline Rhea) and his uneducated son Frankie (Tait Smith) who both happens to be the exact opposite of what you'd expect from a queen and prince. Eugenia reveals that King left them a while ago to run with another girl and never returned nor sent anything for child support. They later meet his parents (Kathleen Freeman and Lewis Arquette), who reveals that their son borrowed their mobile home, and never returned it.The duo finally find King, with the help of Isaac, hiding in a trailer park, drunk and disguised as a woman, afraid that Sinclair and his goons might be looking to inflict more pain upon him. After paying King 30$ for a 5 minute encounter, they have a conversation in which King claims he's officially retired and has given up on wrestling. Refusing to drop the subject, Gordie and Sean, with their stupidity, anger King to the point where he suddenly attacks the two boys. The boys encourage King to beat them up in order to convince him that he can still fight and that he should fight DDP again. King accepts the offer and knocks out the boys with his finishing move to thank them. The two boys awake the next day to find a somewhat sober Jimmy King ready to take one more shot at wrestling.While on the road to the WCW arena, Gordie sends letters to his father, an overzealous cop who wanted Gordie to follow in his footsteps to be a policeman and who hates wrestling because he deems it unmanly and fake. Gordie tells his father that he will not be taking the police test, making him angry to the point where he shoots the letter with his gun.They arrive at the WCW arena where they hide King in a port-a-potty and meet their favorite Nitro Girl, Sasha (Rose McGowan). When DDP shoots a backstage promo mocking Jimmy King on camera, King comes out of the port-a-potty and assaults him. King then asks for a rematch which Sinclair agrees with a few conditions. The match will be a triple cage match (a match involving three cages stacked on one another with a championship title belt hanging above the third cage; whoever can grab it wins) for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship between DDP and King. If King wins, he not only regains his title and the right to resume his career, but he also gets a million dollar bonus cash prize. However, if King loses, he has to officially retire and never wrestle again in WCW or anywhere else. Gordie and Sean agrees with the terms, not listening to King's protest.Later that night, during an after show party, Gordie strikes a conversation with Sasha who flirts with him saying she is impressed with what he's doing for King. She then invites him to a date at her apartment where she ignores his clumsiness and has sex with him.Meanwhile, King, out of sheer panic, tries to run away but falls into a sewer. The boys find him the next morning and convince him they found the perfect trainer for him. They go to Sal Bandini (Martin Landau), an old school trainer who likes to train his students by beating them up and putting them through excruciating submission holds (a parody of real life Canadian wrestling legend and promoter Stu Hart). Sal agrees to train King and therefore starts beating him up. The boys also think that King should have a partner to back him up in case Sinclair tries to interfere with the match. They turn to King's former tag team partner, WCW wrestler Bill Goldberg (Himself). Unfortunately, Goldberg is still resentful of King's behavior towards him and refuses to help.That night, Sal is assaulted and injured by WCW wrestlers Sid Vicious and Perry Saturn. While at the hospital to check on Sal, Gordie overhears a phone conversation between Sasha and Sinclaire and finds out Sasha was faking their relationship to spy on them. He then confronts her and breaks up with her.Sal encourages King to still go through with the match but advises them to hide until then. Gordie and Sean decide to bring King to their hometown of Lusk, Wyoming. On the way, King goes to his wife to apologies for his behaviors and promises, after receiving two kicks to the groin, to use the million dollar cash prize to make it up to her and their son.Upon their arrival, Gordie's father comes along to pick up his son and convinces him that his dreams of getting involved in the professional wrestling business are stupid. That night, Sean and King try to bust Gordie out of his room where he's been confined to study until the next police exam, but Gordie refuses, saying it's time he gets real with his life.King and Sean holds an audition to find an entourage to help King during the match since no one within the WCW locker room wants to back him up. Many candidates show up, but none of them are any good and King realizes he's gonna have to do it on his own. As they are about to leave for the show, Gordie comes to say goodbye and apologies to King for not going with them. King dismisses the apology because he understands and thanks Gordie for everything he's done for him.Meanwhile, Sean meets up with Wendy (Melanie Deanne Moore) whom he first thought of as one of the guys but realized he has developed a soft spot for her while she was always infatuated with him. He gives her a New-York Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt and confesses that he's been thinking about her. She thanks him by bringing him inside the RV and have sex with him before he leaves.The night of the match, King is ready but very nervous. He's joined by Sean, dressed to impress as he's going to act as a manager to King from outside the cages. Both King and DDP makes their entrance and the match gets underway. The fight quickly becomes a nightmare for King when it is revealed that DDP's goons were hiding under the ring and therefore, are inside the cage with them. One of the goons is a masked wrestler who turns out to be King's son Frankie who does not hesitate to attack his father. As King is getting beat up by the goons, out comes WCW wrestlers Goldberg, Booker T, Billy Kidman and Disco Inferno who have finally decided to help King after all. Unfortunately, they can't do much as they're all locked out of the cage.It is then that another man riding a motorcycle comes out and uses the entrance ramp as a jumping board to crash through the cage door and take out some of the goons with the motorcycle. That man is Gordie, dressed in a wrestling outfit inspired by his father's uniform. His father sees his son on TV and starts cheering him on with is colleagues. Gordie and the others deal with DDP's friends and defeat them while King and DDP climb the cages to get to the belt. Sasha tries to get back together with Gordie as the fans seem to love him, but gets knocked out by a ladder after not listening to Sean's warnings.Meanwhile, in the highest cage, DDP manages to throw King down to the lowest cage. As he attempts to reach for the belt, Page is knocked down to the lowest cage himself by WCW wrestler Sting (himself) who was threatened into helping DDP earlier by Sinclaire but decided to help King instead because he actually likes him. King and DDP both succeed to climb back to the top again and fight it out until King manages to slam DDP all the way down to the mat, knocking him out in the process. King retrieves the belt and is once again the WCW World Heavyweight Champion.After the match, Sean and Gordie beat up Sinclaire before tossing him into the crowd where the fans beat him up some more. Goldberg asks King to reform their tag team but the new champ announces his new partner will be Gordie and their manager will be Sean. Gordie's father still cheering finally accepts his son's decision while Wendy is seen at work jumping and screaming her love for Sean.Afterwards, Sean is back in Lusk, at the convenient store where the story began, telling the story to some kids and saying "dreams can come true". Just as one of the kids ask Sean to prove that his story is real, the store clerk, known for being mean to kids, is thrown through the glass door by Goldberg, Gordie and King. All ends happily as the heroes ride off in a stretch Hummer (driven by Nitro Girl Chae), together with Sal, now fully recovered in a hot tub with beautiful women and ends it by saying "God bless America".The end credits feature bloopers and a montage of kicks to the groin.